Meron akong binasang libro dati (pdf file na bigay ng love of my life). Nakalimutan ko ang pamagat ng libro, pero ang laman ay puro mind exercise. Dahil feeling ko humihina na ang aking memorya (hindi ako ganun katanda), sinubukan ko sya ahihi.
First exercise. Ayun don, magkulong sa kwarto ng sampung minuto (preferably kwarto mo) . Tandaan lahat ng bagay na nasa paligid, kahit yung mga maliliit na bagay at kahit mga spiderwebs sa kisame (or kung may butiki man pati na rin yun). Kung kaya pa isaksak sa utak ang kulay at ang size ng bagay ay pwede na rin. Pagkatapos ng sampung minuto ay lumabas ng kwarto. Kumuha ng papel at ballpen o lapis. Maglista ng limampung bagay na natatandaan mo na nasa loob ng kwarto (kung mas madami pa ang kaya mong ilista mas maganda). Gawin araw araw hanggang sa kaya mo na ilista lahat ng walang nakakalimutan.
Ang cute di ba? Pero dahil ako ay tamad, isang beses ko lang itong ginawa at hindi ako naka-limampung bagay. Minsan din pag wala na talaga akong ibang magawa, ginagawa ko na rin to.
Isang boring na araw, habang ako ay naglalakad sa kalye napagtripan kong gawin ito. Pero binago ko ng konti para ma-entertain ko ang sarili ko hihi. Una, maghanap ng sampung tao na medyo kakaiba. Pangalawa, tandaan ng mabuti kung ano ang kinaiba nila. Wag kalimutan hanggang makauwi at maisulat. Kaya ito na sila.
Una. Isang ale sa iskinita nagtitinda ng gulay. Wala namang kakaiba sa kanya, sya lang ang una kong napansin.
Pangalawa. Dawalang binatilyo nagkukwentuhan habang naglalakad. Basketball ang topic pero yung isa may dalang gitara. Weird.
Pangatlo. May narinig akong kumalansing sa likod ko. Paglingon ko dalawang 25 cents na sumasayaw sa daan na parang kakahulog lang at tatlong kabataan. Pumasok agad sa isip ko ang pulot piso gang (or whatever they are called). Na-paranoid ako at naglakad ng mabilis. I’m not picking that cents up. No way!
Pang-apat. May isang mama na merong dalang karton na ang laman ay obvious na manok. Meron syang kausap na isa pang mama, at ang topic…sabong.
Pang-lima. Sumakay na ko ng jeep, sa unahan ako umupo. May naglalakad na buntis na babae, ngumiti sakin. Ngumiti sya sakin XD di ko po sya kilala.
Pang-anim. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. ggh wala akong makitang target.
Pang-pito. Isang maputing lalaki na naglalakad. May hitsura, kaso pumilantik ang fingers nya. Ayy…
Pang-walo. Isang bata naka-topless. May bitbit na plastic bag sa bawat kamay nya. Mukhang mabigat, kawawa naman.
Pang-siyam. Isang dalagita na mahaba ang buhok. Merong karga kargang batang shih tzu. Ang cute…nung tuta hihi.
Pang-sampo. Ang sarili ko. Hindi ko alam pero bigla akong natakot. Biglang bumilis ang takbo na jeep, feeling ko masasagasaan ako sa ganung takbo. Yun pala hinabol ni manong driver ang naunang jeep at inaway nya nung naabutan na. Hindi ko naman maintindihan ang diskusyon nila at ayoko rin na nasa gitna ng gulo, kaya exit na ko. Manong, para na lang po dyan sa tabi.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
LUTO
Dude 1: tsong, nood kayo mamaya, championship game na namin..
Dude 2: wag na, matatalo naman kayo e
Dude 1: kami pa. lampaso aabutin samin nun.
Kinabukasan…
Dude 2: ano tol, balita? nanalo ba kayo?
Dude 1: pota pre, luto. Yung referee madikitan lang yung balahibo ng kalaban foul na, kami halos pilay-pilay na wala pa rin foul..
hehehehehe.. bakit sa mga contest o game pag talo palaging sinasabi “LUTO”… dami palaging dahilan..
pag talo, talo na.. move on na dapat di b?
LOL
Dude 2: wag na, matatalo naman kayo e
Dude 1: kami pa. lampaso aabutin samin nun.
Kinabukasan…
Dude 2: ano tol, balita? nanalo ba kayo?
Dude 1: pota pre, luto. Yung referee madikitan lang yung balahibo ng kalaban foul na, kami halos pilay-pilay na wala pa rin foul..
hehehehehe.. bakit sa mga contest o game pag talo palaging sinasabi “LUTO”… dami palaging dahilan..
pag talo, talo na.. move on na dapat di b?
LOL
The Story of Skurai
I once knew a man. Skurai. A man with great pride and honor. A man whose life was vowed to protect the needy. But that was all gone. The man I knew was never the same.
He was one of the knights of this grand city. The city where all the different people gather. The city of wealth and fame. For a knight, he was loved by all. He was kind and gentle, always looking after the people and his brethren.
Not for long, his hard work paid off. He was promoted as the personal guard of the beautiful Princess Titania. A very rare opportunity that is only given to a knight with high calibre. It was, without doubt the best thing that ever happened to him.
As days passed as a royal guard, he got along well with the princess. They eventually became friends. Time passed, their friendship blossomed into love.
It was forbidden. The royal family cannot have an affair with the commoners. It was to keep their status in place. Skurai and Titania opt to hide it, and it was well kept.
Not until one tragic day. A prince was introduced to the Princess Titania as her fiance. She was of right age so her father arranged a marriage for her. Her father had chosen the right man to succeed his throne. A man of great power and influence. A pretty face that every girl would adore. He sure could give the princess the life she deserves.
However unknown to the royal family, the prince’s true intention was not the princess’s hand. It was a cursed blade that was imprissoned for ages at the depths of the castle. The cursed blade Talatsu whose lust for blood was unquenched.
Whilst the prince wreak havoc at the castle, poor Skurai sold his soul to Talatsu to see his princess once again. The people were slain and the princess was held captive when he arrived at the throne. The prince, or rather the monster who disguised himself as a prince offered him a deal. Trade the blade for the princess. A fair deal.
It didn’t go well. The prince have no intention of returning the princess in the first place, and Talatsu would not acknowledge him as the new master. He was consumed with rage when the blade sliced his right arm. He turned to his captive to avenge what had been done to him.
The princess was killed right before his eyes. It was all over. He had wished he heeds her desperate plead to take her away. Some place where no one knows them so they could live freely. But it was like dust blown by a strong wind. The woman he loved so dearly, she’s gone.
The kind and honorable man had turned into a blood thirsty maniac. Under the curse of Talatsu, he was bound to search for someone whose blood is exceptional that could quench its thirst. By then his soul will be free.
Yet the memories of her still lingers. A painful past that can never be undone.
From: Ragnarok Manhwa, the character of Skurai
He was one of the knights of this grand city. The city where all the different people gather. The city of wealth and fame. For a knight, he was loved by all. He was kind and gentle, always looking after the people and his brethren.
Not for long, his hard work paid off. He was promoted as the personal guard of the beautiful Princess Titania. A very rare opportunity that is only given to a knight with high calibre. It was, without doubt the best thing that ever happened to him.
As days passed as a royal guard, he got along well with the princess. They eventually became friends. Time passed, their friendship blossomed into love.
It was forbidden. The royal family cannot have an affair with the commoners. It was to keep their status in place. Skurai and Titania opt to hide it, and it was well kept.
Not until one tragic day. A prince was introduced to the Princess Titania as her fiance. She was of right age so her father arranged a marriage for her. Her father had chosen the right man to succeed his throne. A man of great power and influence. A pretty face that every girl would adore. He sure could give the princess the life she deserves.
However unknown to the royal family, the prince’s true intention was not the princess’s hand. It was a cursed blade that was imprissoned for ages at the depths of the castle. The cursed blade Talatsu whose lust for blood was unquenched.
Whilst the prince wreak havoc at the castle, poor Skurai sold his soul to Talatsu to see his princess once again. The people were slain and the princess was held captive when he arrived at the throne. The prince, or rather the monster who disguised himself as a prince offered him a deal. Trade the blade for the princess. A fair deal.
It didn’t go well. The prince have no intention of returning the princess in the first place, and Talatsu would not acknowledge him as the new master. He was consumed with rage when the blade sliced his right arm. He turned to his captive to avenge what had been done to him.
The princess was killed right before his eyes. It was all over. He had wished he heeds her desperate plead to take her away. Some place where no one knows them so they could live freely. But it was like dust blown by a strong wind. The woman he loved so dearly, she’s gone.
The kind and honorable man had turned into a blood thirsty maniac. Under the curse of Talatsu, he was bound to search for someone whose blood is exceptional that could quench its thirst. By then his soul will be free.
Yet the memories of her still lingers. A painful past that can never be undone.
From: Ragnarok Manhwa, the character of Skurai
KISMET "a letter of pain"
I hate goodbyes. Because it reminds me of the things that will never come again, of the battles i had and failed. But today, this very same day, i had to say goodbye to my "kismet", my destiny. While i'm making this notes, i'm crying real hard. Because this serves as my goodbye to you, the word i hate most. I hate to end our relationship hon, but i just have to. Habang me natitira pa kong pagmamahal sa sarili ko. I need to do this for you to realize my worth. Even if that means i should have to let you go. Tama si Mommy Ella, i need to think and love myself first before loving someone else. Pero aaminin ko mahirap. Ngayon pa lang hirap na hirap na ko. Pero wala namang masayang paghihiwalay di ba? Lahat may katumbas na sakit. And at the same time, a lesson learned. Iniisip ko ngayon kung pano ko uli umpisahan buhay ko. How can i start anew? I got use to having you beside me. Waking up in the morning knowing that you're just a text away. Ngayon puro pamamaalam na lang ang alam kong sabihin. Ang kaya mong isagot. Ang sakit. Walang katumbas na sakit. Para akong pinapatay araw-araw sa bawat minuto ng bawat oras. If only i can turn back the hands of time. I would like it to be when it was only you and me, when i was the only important person in your life, when i was your only priority, when you can't take your eyes off me. Nung panahon na gusto mo halos araw-araw ako kasama. Ngayon ang dami ng nagbago. Hindi na ako ang top priority mo. I wish i can turn back the hands of time. Ibabalik ko 'to sa araw na nakilala kita and i will cherish all those moments and will try my very best to remain that way. If only i can freeze the time. Sana lagi na lang tulad ng dati. Maybe i won't feel this numbness inside. Madaming sana sa isip ko ngayon. Na sana mas naging best pa ko para sayo. Maybe i've done something wrong kaya ka nawala sakin. But i think God has a better plan. Maybe He wants us to went thru all this Para sa huli mapatunayan natin kung tayo nga talaga. Sana uli ganun nga. I would love to feel all this pain over and over just to be with you in the end. Sorry hon, sorry for all the floss, for all the nagging and for all the doubts. Sana binago ko yun, siguro di pa tayo napunta sa situation na 'to. It must be a different scenario, a different way. Pero wala. Andito na tayo sa sitwasyon na 'to and i can't do anything but to endure all the pains. Honestly hon, i can't live in a world were you don't exist. Kaya eto ako now, iniisip ano ng mangyayari sa mundo ko. I always tells you that i'm willing to love you for the next lifetimes to come. Totoo yun. Kahit paulit2 ako masaktan basta ikaw ang rason at basta nararanasan ko pa ding mahalin mo, pipilitin kong kayanin. But now i've realized, tao lang pala talaga ako. I do have limitations. And this is it. I've reached the maximum tolerance of my patience. I want to hold on hon. Really wanted to. But all the situations tells me to stop. All the people around me told me to let go. Even Nanay Verba. Oh, i just simply love your mom. She asked me if i'm hurting too much, when i told her yes, she told me to give up, to let you go. Kasi daw tinuring na niya kong anak din niya so she doesn't want to see me hurting. Isn't that sweet? She said she understood if i have to let go of you. Para din daw ma-realize mu sa huli kung totoong mahal mo nga daw ako at kung magbabago ka daw para sakin. I simply can't explain what happened. We used to be so happy, so in-love. Pero ngayon, feeling ko ako na lang ang ganun. Although i know and i can still feel your love, parang di na lang tulad ng dati. Alam ko naman na mahal mo nga talaga ako. Maybe it's because you're still young and just want to enjoy your life. Kaya hahayaan na muna kita i-enjoy ang buhay mo. I won't interrupt with your life now. Sorry honey, mahal po kita. Mahal na mahal kita. T.T You will still be my kismet, my love, my fate, my soulmate and my DESTINY :) No one and nothing can ever change that honey. ILOVEYOU so much my kismet :-*
CAN' PRETEND ANYMORE !
i can pretend my whole life.
i can fake everything.
i could lie about it.
i could even stay hidden....
but does that help anything?
pretending im ok,
when im not is killing me.
faking smiles everytime
i see you,
i cant pretend anymore.
lying doesnt do anything,
but make me untrusting.
and staying hidden....
well that only protects me.
from harm,
and hurting from people.
pretending makes me look strong.
but am i?
im not so sure.
i cant lie aboutt my feelings,
i cant hide my tears,
my sore red eyes are proof.
the headaches of crying
for hours at a time.
cursing into empty air,
does no great.
it only makes me look insane.
breaking things proves,
im out of my mind.
pretending my life isnt real,
i dont know what that does.
i should know better by now.
i cant make it go away.
i cant make things better,
on my own.
i dont want to get close
to people,
or let them in even.
but how else am i to get better?
maybe im better off wondering.
maybe i shouldnt know.
maybe my life was like "house"
the game we usesd to play as kids.
maybe thats really me.
its just pretend,
and what happnes doesnt
matter and isnt real.
maybe thats my case.
i can fake everything.
i could lie about it.
i could even stay hidden....
but does that help anything?
pretending im ok,
when im not is killing me.
faking smiles everytime
i see you,
i cant pretend anymore.
lying doesnt do anything,
but make me untrusting.
and staying hidden....
well that only protects me.
from harm,
and hurting from people.
pretending makes me look strong.
but am i?
im not so sure.
i cant lie aboutt my feelings,
i cant hide my tears,
my sore red eyes are proof.
the headaches of crying
for hours at a time.
cursing into empty air,
does no great.
it only makes me look insane.
breaking things proves,
im out of my mind.
pretending my life isnt real,
i dont know what that does.
i should know better by now.
i cant make it go away.
i cant make things better,
on my own.
i dont want to get close
to people,
or let them in even.
but how else am i to get better?
maybe im better off wondering.
maybe i shouldnt know.
maybe my life was like "house"
the game we usesd to play as kids.
maybe thats really me.
its just pretend,
and what happnes doesnt
matter and isnt real.
maybe thats my case.
ANG MAGKAPATID
May dalawang magkapatid, babae ang panganay, lalake and bunso, si
babae matigas ang ulo, suwail pero mabait sa kapatid, lagi nitong
binibigyan ng pera ang bunso, dumating ang araw at pareho na silang may
pamilya, si ate may tatlong anak, si bunso may isang anak, si ate ay
sobrang hirap dahil ang asawa ay jobless, si
bunso medyo nakaka angat dahil call center agent and my work and wife,
since dalawa lang silang magkapatid, every salary ni bunso, nanghihingi
na konting pera si ate kahit pambili ng tubig halagang 50 Pesos, si
bunso naman, bago magbigay, ang dami pang sinasabi.
Lumipas ang mahabang panahon at dumating ang araw na si bunso naman ang naghirap, hindi alam ni bunso ang gagawin dahil hindi sya sanay sa hirap tulad ng ate nya, hindi pinaalam ni bunso ang sitwasyon nya sa ate nya kayat ng malaman ni ate na ganun nga ang kalagayan ni bunso tinanong nya kung bakit hindi nito sinabi kay ate ang dahilan, ang sabi ni bunso, “bakit wala ka naman magagawa or maibibigay sakin diba? wala nga kayong makain ng pamilya mo e”, sinabi ni ate, “heto ang bank book, lahat ng binigay mo ay inipon ko para sayo dahil alam ko, sa style ng pamumuhay mo nuon, wala ka man lang inipon para sa ganitong sitwasyon, kayat kahit anong sakit ng mga sinasabi mo kapag nanghihingi ako sayo, binabalewala ko kasi gusto ko, kahit pareho na tayo may pamilya, nandito pa rin ako bilang ate mo…
Lumipas ang mahabang panahon at dumating ang araw na si bunso naman ang naghirap, hindi alam ni bunso ang gagawin dahil hindi sya sanay sa hirap tulad ng ate nya, hindi pinaalam ni bunso ang sitwasyon nya sa ate nya kayat ng malaman ni ate na ganun nga ang kalagayan ni bunso tinanong nya kung bakit hindi nito sinabi kay ate ang dahilan, ang sabi ni bunso, “bakit wala ka naman magagawa or maibibigay sakin diba? wala nga kayong makain ng pamilya mo e”, sinabi ni ate, “heto ang bank book, lahat ng binigay mo ay inipon ko para sayo dahil alam ko, sa style ng pamumuhay mo nuon, wala ka man lang inipon para sa ganitong sitwasyon, kayat kahit anong sakit ng mga sinasabi mo kapag nanghihingi ako sayo, binabalewala ko kasi gusto ko, kahit pareho na tayo may pamilya, nandito pa rin ako bilang ate mo…
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